Saturday, March 21, 2009

Fatticus the cat

 
Fatticus is my older sister's cat. There is a history here with this cat as apparently it hates everyone and everyone hates it.I am not sure why but the following is a letter....written in jest for those that don't have a sense of humor.....by my older sister.
"Fatticus is a wonderful cat. You will never need an alarm clock again (I sure hope your get up time is 3am) -- a serious energy saver. Loves to be petted as long as you don't hit the sweet spot on his stomach and he will bite the hell out of you. Loves Schnauzers -really all little dogs are his love....(hehehehe.) Eats like a dog. (a big ass dog) Has a unique way of letting you know he's hungry-- OH-- I guess that's his non-stop high pitched meow. You only need to empty the cat litter once a day if you have dogs (they tend to carry the "refuse" around the house as a "gift"). He has a pedigree believe it or not but is just not appreciated by the men in the family. He is looking forward to being moved to a much drier climate
So how's this for making someone want Fatticus??? Not everyone has the opportunity you have to have a perfectly good used cat that is more or less house trained, comes with litter box, bed, brush, shampoo (oh yeah you should try giving him a bath it's worth a mastercard moment), pillow, toys, one bag of food, litter and 100 dollars to buy the rest of his monthly food. With work and discipline you might even get him trained to go outside to the restroom however, cleaning that off the rock in the backyard will be dicey. Now for the best part, don't ever leave the bathroom door open while you are using the facilities because he expects to be picked up while you are sitting there.

I feel this will be the breaking point for you and your loved ones. How could
you not want a fabulous 23 pound loving "gentle" cat like this? There aren't many opportunities to find a real Maine Coon. Don't let this fall from your grasp. It's an exciting time in your life and I'm sure this addition to your family will make the transition mucheasier.
PICTURE ENCLOSED

Always thinking of you all!!!!"

--
Your loving mother, sister, daughter, sisterinlaw, wife, friend, co worker etc....

I
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9 comments:

Mamaw said...

Fatticus is a treasured member of your family, whatever you say. He has come a long way since I first met him. You would probably not sell him to the highest bidder. He looks good in the picture.

To Vicki.

Good story though.

Shammickite said...

Wouldn't Sparty like a furry kitty friend to play with?

MotherOf3Guys said...

He bit me once when I hit the "sweet spot"....I don't like cats!

John said...

That is one fat kitty

tanidia said...

Very funny guys. This was the adoption letter I was sending to Vanessa and Stephen (my son and his fiancee who HATE THIS CAT) I really think they would benefit in a new marriage from this guy. As you can see from the picture he is in his begging mode. AND to SHAMMICKITE yes Sparty would love a BIG friend to play with. My whole family hates this cat except for me. At 3am EVERYONE in the family hates this cat. YOU have NO IDEA!!

Peter said...

So, finally where is this beloved cat now? At your place, at your sister's place? :-) (I don't want a cat.)

Liz said...

I took over ownership of Fatticus'cousin, Nora (who was kicked out of the state of Kentucky), and now lives in our barn. She had all the social charm of Fatticus, too, and will occassionally bite just to keep in practice. I have come to love Nora in all her strangeness because she is, like Fatticus, honest, and that is a rare quality in a cat. Honest cats, in their furry heart of hearts, possess no coyness. What you see is what you get, but wear gloves.

tanidia said...

Oh the cat lives and breathes and eats you get the picture WITH ME the sister. You don't actually think anyone would be dumb enough to adopt this cat do you??? It's a train wreck

tanidia said...

OK I miss my cat. Never thought I'd say that!!! Funny thing you don't really understand how much something means to you until it's gone. This cat loved me unconditionally. He was put to sleep when he went into renal failure last year. :(