Sunday, November 04, 2007

An Observation

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (attributed)
I was visiting at one of my City Daily Photo Bloggers(Hyderabad) and he had this quote on his blog. This quote reminded me of a conversation I had with a coworker last week. I was chatting with a new fellow co worker and he was beside himself. I asked him why and he said his good friend had just gotten engaged. I thought this should be happy news....he gasped and went on a rant like no other about how boring his friend's fiance was, and how this was only his second girlfriend and what could he be thinking? etc etc. He was quite upset...AND he was annoyed he had been told in an email. Well, if you think I didn't point out to him that he better make nice with the fiance you would be wrong. I tried to tell him that this young lady will hold more power over his friend than all the ranting and raving he was doing and planning on doing. I also mentioned that if he ever wanted to see his friend he darn will better make nice with the fiance and keep his opinions about her to himself. It's not as if HE is marrying her. Somehow I don't think he believes me. He is positive he can change this friend's mind about marrying. I don't think so ....not unless my coworker has more sway over him than the person his friend is in love with (or sleeping with). I have a feeling that this friend will be a past friend because who really wants to hear how awful the person you just asked to marry you is from someone you were delighted to tell you were engaged? And if his only complaint is that He finds the friend's fiance boring...well,,,he isn't marrying her.
AHhhh to be young and stupid and sanctimoiusly right all the time....
(Did I just describe most of us as one time or another? lol)
Too bad I couldn't remember this quote then....as if he would have heard it!

8 comments:

Liz said...

You are 100% correct, but, *sigh*, most people crave being right above all else (speaking from personal experience.) To make a horrible analogy, my mother used to say, "Love me, love my dog." This young co-worker is doing something egregiously stupid, and he will surely lose this friend. Furthermore his friend will do everything in his power to prove him wrong.
Any parent who has tried to convince his or her child that a friend is a "bad influence" knows this is true. Try to convince a child that his or her friend is bad, and that child will stand by that friend like Timmie to Lassie.

There is the old expression about being "Too soon old, and too late smart." Ain't it the truth.

Andrea said...

Great post

Peter said...

You are certainly in line with what most of us would think about how we SHOULD behave. What many of us may do in practice may be different. Referring to liz, it's difficult not to react when you see your children choose "wrong" friends! ... and would you not try to advise your children if you REALLY felt that their choice of life partner might be wrong - in your opinion? At least you would try to have a close discussion.
Anyhow, I believe I would hardly try to influence on the choice of a friend's future partner, unless I know the future partner to 100% and REALLY feel that a "warning" may be justified! It COULD be a sign of real friendhip! But you must be very sure of what you are doing and really be convinced that "this is wrong"!

jan said...

You're a good person to warn him but he will probably ignore the advice. And as long as the marriage lasts (and many don't last long) the friendship will be on hold.

USAincognito said...

That is really sad he cannot be supportive of his friend and be happy for him. Hmmm....wonder if he might be just a bit tad jealous of "losing" his friend to someone else.
This quote is so true, though - whether men will admit it or not! ;)

KMF said...

nice post

quintarantino said...

I liked this post.

Shannon said...

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