I was recently called to report for jury duty. Not asked but told. In our county, it is the one day system...you go (to one of MANY courthouses) if they don't call your number you're done for 1 year or you go, get on a jury(time unknown) you're done for 1 year and then it starts over.
Now, I am all about doing my part to keep America going. I vote, I recycle, I keep up with the politics in my community, I floss, I do my civic duty but there are a few courthouses that I never get called to report to.
Like the one that is 10 minutes away from me... No, I have been called 2 times downtown and 4 times down to the WORST part of town beside the county jail....and we live in a BIGGGGGG county. The first time I drove there (yes sports fans there is NO public transportation to this lovely edifice) I was stunned. Not what I would call a "destination place". And I have had my hinny in a seat EVERYTIME I have been down to this place. I have never been picked and once was escorted out the back door because the judge didn't want me to "influence" the other potential jurors with my opinion(you have read the title to my blog, right?) but never been picked.
So, when I got the notice for jury duty--for downtown--I was thrilled--that it wasn't next to the county jail.
I did debate about whether I could go that day....for all of about 3 secs.....they really frown on you not showing up for jury duty...and I knew I could take public transportation, at lunch go to the BIG department store next door and have lunch, shop and generally have a day off from work that was not so bad. Forget about getting picked....that didn't really cross my mind.
So, I truck off with my bag of books and took the train down and started my day.
Checked in at the court house, got my panel number and prepared to read and do my stuff until it was time to go home. Panel numbers were called in random order....quite a few...I was not worried.. and at 12:05 they called my panel number and my first thought...yeah lunchtime I can go!
Yea right .....down the elevator to the first floor and they loaded 48 of us onto the white county sheriff's bus(with the bars) and took us to the court house by the county jail because...and HERE is a surprise......they didn't have enough people show up to pick a jury.
We value our lives, this is NOT a jury of my peers and the day it is you know I am on crack and what planet are you from that people actualy want to drive to the ghetto/ war zone to do their civic duty????
PRoblem solved,,,,,,,,ask' em to come to the nice, clean well located court house downtown and transport their hinny's to the ghetto. .... and then listen the judge tell you what an honor it is to serve on a jury blah blah blah blah. got it in one.....no prob.....I will do my civic duty just could I please go to the court house 10 minutes away??
I mean really, those people that live down by the county jail want to come out to the 'burbs almost as much as I want to go by them. Can't we work something else out for this one day and you've served stuff??
So out of 48 potential jurors, 44 of us were questioned(not me which is a SURPRISE), 14 were chosen and they loaded us back on the county sheriff's bus(with the bars) and took us back down to the NICE courthouse.
My only hope was that no one I knew had a camera and snapped my picture as I got on and off the prisoner bus. THAT would have been the highlight....no I am wrong....the highlight would have been to go back to the ghetto the next day and sit on the jury of the African American kid who had stolen a car(and crashed it) was arrested by police(because he was still IN the car) and sit on the jury to decide if he was gulity or not(the reading between the lines here is that the kids butt was in the seat because THIS is what they could catch him on.)
'Yep that would have been the highlight of that day...translation.....waste of time, mine yours theirs anybodys' Throw his ass in jail and be done with it.
There, my civic duty is discharged for another year.
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